- the worst decisions make the best mistakes -

- the worst decisions make the best mistakes -
A life story, about bad decisions, mistakes, and lessons learned. Sometimes life doesn't go the way you want it - but it's always for a good cause.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Mistake #9: Surrender

"Time is only wasted, so why wait for eventually?" (Alicia Keys)

For the next few weeks I was busy - really busy. I had no idea why, but for some strange reason my shifts at Kieran's had multiplied, and I was getting a lot more hours. Not only that, but I had school work coming out the ass. It was exam time, before christmas break, so I had a lot on my plate.

Which meant - I had no time to be stressed.

It was kind of nice.

Christmas break came quicker than I had expected, and I was going home to visit with my family. My mother and my father had been divorced for years, and my father had remarried. My mom lived closer than my dad did, and I usually spent more time at mom's over christmas break. I don't know why, though. I was always closer with my father than with my mother.

Mom only lived about a half-hour from town which made it really easy to travel back to my apartment if I ever needed anything. The only problem was that I didn't drive... so I needed to find someone to take me everytime I was going to visit.

One day over the break, our family had sat down for a movie night, which we do often. Mom had rented a few movies we hadn't seen before, and we'd bought snacks and drinks.

We had started watching this one movie - and were about half-way through it - when the phone rang. And, I don't know about you... but my mother has this thing with answering the phone. Even if we're watching a movie, she has to answer it, like it might be some big important news or something.

It was for me.

I was confused... because I didn't know who it might be. It wasn't like I had any big plans, other than working in a few days. But. It caught me completely off guard.

I answered the phone.

"Hey, Kate?" a girl said on the other line.

"Alix?" I asked, confused out of my mind. "Are you calling from work... ?"

"Yeah. Uh." She paused awkwardly. "Can you talk to Simon?"

I paused this time.

"Does he need something? Why didn't he just call me himself?" I laughed slightly, not completely convinced that it was funny.

"Uh. Well. No." She seemed distracted. "Just.... uh. Talk to him. Distract him."

There was some jumbling noises, as if the phone was being passed around.

"Hello?" A very raspy voice said on the other end.

"Simon? Are you okay?"

"Uh. Fine. Just..." He trailed off. "Say something. Anything. Make me laugh."

He spoke quickly, in a hurry. I wondered if he had some axe murderer after him, and just -had- to call me to make sure I was okay. Scratch that thought.

"Well... I don't really know what to say..." I said, searching my mind desperately for words. I was so bad under pressure.


He sounded desperate.

"Uhh. Well. Obviously. I'm home now, at my mom's." I said stupidly. I sound so dumb sometimes. "It's movie night, so we rented a few... Pan's Labyrinth? Have you seen that one?"

I didn't wait for him to answer. All I could hear was his breathing on the other line.

"It's not too bad. It's extremely gorey, if you like that kind of stuff. I mean... I don't mind gore. I'm not a pansy, or anything." I laughed awkwardly. "It's a little depressing, though, so... not really a happy-go-lucky kinda movie, you get me?"

There was silence for a few moments, the steady beat of my heart loud in my ears.

"Thank you."

"What are you thanking me for?" I asked, still slightly confused, but also feeling slightly strange. I really didn't understand what was going on.

"I'm... sorry for bothering you."

"Simon. Wait. What happened?" I asked again. Still with the questions.

"I'm alright. My ex... just is a pain in the ass. She was really starting to aggravate me, so... I needed to calm down." He paused for a moment. "You seemed to do that pretty well."

"Well. Good. I'm glad I was some sort of help." I smiled on the phone, although I knew he couldn't see it. I'm sure he could hear it in my voice, though.

He put Alix back on the phone.

"What was that all about?" I asked her. Obviously I wasn't going to take Simon's word for it that he was okay.

She let out a long, stressful breath.

"Long story short? Sarah came into work tonight with a bunch of Simon's friends... I guess they still all hang out. Anyways. They had all been drinking. Sarah decided to kiss Greg on the lips... right in front of him. Simon freaked... yelled at her for a bit, made a big scene, so I made him stop and come back to sit in the staff room to calm himself. He nearly punched me right in the face! I was so nervous. I tried to calm him down... I just..."

"He tried to punch you? What?" I was appalled.

"Well. He looked like he was going to punch me in the face... but he punched the cupboard beside my face. There's a giant dent.... yeah. It's all a little messed up." She sounded a little shaken up.

"You're okay?"

"Yeah, Kate. I'm fine. Thanks."

"It's the least I can do to help out. Jeeze, I didn't realize that -that- was what was going on!"

She laughed a little on the other line.

"Yeah. Drama central up here! Sorry for bothering you."

"I'm really glad you did." I smiled, and shook my head.

"Have fun at home, see you when you get back."

"Thanks Alix. Bye."

After hanging up the phone, I felt happy. Maybe I shouldn't have been happy, but I was. I had helped out without even knowing it. And maybe... just maybe, I didn't have to give up on Simon yet. Maybe he might just come around.

I know. Giving up on my awesome plans? On my independence? I do that a lot. I'm an idiot.

But really, who doesn't surrender to affection?

There are a lot of lonely people out there. And I'm one of them.

Surrender was easy. Surrender was safe. Surrender was a terrible idea.

And I let it happen.

No comments:

Post a Comment