- the worst decisions make the best mistakes -

- the worst decisions make the best mistakes -
A life story, about bad decisions, mistakes, and lessons learned. Sometimes life doesn't go the way you want it - but it's always for a good cause.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

It seems too wrong to be right.

“Did you feel grief? No. You never felt anything.” (Goot)

A week went by. I didn’t talk to Eric at all. I didn’t see him at work either – he had decided to quit when he started up school again. He found it hard to concentrate on his studies while having other responsibilities.

It was overall a pretty depressing week.

One night after work, I was about to walk home in the dark, like I usually do, when a guy from work offered to drive me. I was sitting in the backroom, making small talk with one of the new employees and packing up my stuff for the night, when Simon (the man behind the meals at Kieran’s) came back and smiled at me.

Simon had always been sweet to me. We usually joked around at work like good friends, but never had hung out outside of work. I liked him. He was someone who I could become best friends with, if we hung out more.

He didn’t sit, but stood by his locker, and slowly entered the combination, glancing up at me briefly.

“You walking home tonight?” He asked politely.

“Yeah, I was planning on it.” I smiled up at him. “Why?”

“Isn’t it a little dangerous walking home at night in a city?”

I snorted.

“Yeah, but no big deal. I do it every night, pretty much.”

He turned to face me, leaning against the locker nonchalantly.

“Let me give you a lift.”

I was shocked.

“Really? Are you sure?”

He nodded. Of course I accepted his offer.

We climbed into his old, beat up car, and he started her up, driving in the direction of my apartment.

“Thanks for doing this.” I said.

“No problem. I just don’t want to see a pretty girl like you get into the wrong company. One of these nights it could happen.” He grinned wryly at me.

I was glad that it was dark, so he couldn’t see my blush.

He blared the music all the way home. I couldn’t hear a damned thing, but I liked it – the cool wind blowing in my loose hair, the music so loud that it probably damaged my ear drums.

For some reason, on that drive home, I confided in Simon. I told him about my relationship problems. I felt as though I could trust him. He understood me, and wasn’t childish about things. He didn’t get upset at me, or angry, and he made me feel like I wasn’t an idiot for once.

“So, you and Eric aren’t doing so well?”

I shake my head.

“My current girlfriend and I are going through a rough patch, too.” He paused, as if scared to reveal his personal life to me. “I don’t know if it’ll last.”

I nod.

“You know what? Everything will work out for the best. Even if you and Eric aren’t meant to be together, you’ll move on with your life and you’ll find someone better.”

Like I said. He understood.

He dropped me off outside my apartment building. I thanked him, not only for the drive, but for the advice, and ran inside out of the cold. I was becoming rather sensitive to temperatures.

When I got in the apartment, Liz was up waiting for me. She looked displeased. I tried my best to smile, to look okay. I don’t think it worked out as planned.

“Let me see.” Was all she said.


“Your arms. Let me see.” Finally it clicked. I pulled away, but she grabbed them both so she could look.

By this time they had formed into perfect, white scars, lined from my wrist to the inside of my elbow. She looked up at me with rage in her sapphire blue eyes.

“Really, Kate? Seriously?”

I was speechless.

“Are you this stupid? Cause, I thought you were smarter than that.”

Still nothing.

“Promise me you’ll never do this again.” She stared into my soul with those eyes. “Promise me.”

Should I tell her the truth? Or lie?

“I promise.” I said softly. If I told her the truth, she’d probably murder me in my sleep. Although, as peaceful as it sounded at the moment, I kind of wanted to live my life to see if it would get any better. This was just a dark stage, I reminded myself.


I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding.

“Don’t ever do that again, because I don’t want to have to watch you like a hawk all the time.”

And then she sauntered back into her room and slammed the door.

What a wonderful week this had been turning out to be.

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